Arnold Rimmer leaned low over Lister's prone form; his sandy coloured hair flopping over one eye boyishly.
       "What d'you want, Rimmer?" Dave Lister asked, a hint of irritation in his voice as a shadow covered his reading.
       "You."
       Lister lowered the smutty magazine he was reading and looked into his cellmate's eyes. "What the smeg --?"
       Rimmer lowered himself and cut off the rest of the question with a kiss.
       Resisting at first, Lister soon flung down his magazine and embraced the other man in ernest.
       Rimmer's hand slid down toward Lister's crotch and as his long thin fingers closed around the throbbing, cloth-restrained manhood –

       Rimmer awoke with a scream.
       "What the smeg is wrong with you?" Lister wanted to know as he strummed his guitar from the top bunk.
       A look of horror in his eyes, Rimmer quickly scanned his surroundings and mumbled, "Nothing."
       "That same nightmare again?"
       "Nightmare?" Rimmer stood and smoothed his prison jumpsuit. "No, course not." But it was. He'd been having it off and on ever since he and Lister had been put in the same cell. Dave Lister, Christine Kochanski, Cat and Kryten had been charged with stealing a space hopper, piloting such without a license, and various and sundry other offenses. It was discovered that the entire crew of the mining ship Red Dwarf had indeed been killed three million years before and then brought back to life by a pack of tiny nanite computers, so all those charges were dropped. The foursome – and the newly resurrected Arnold J. Rimmer, however, were convicted of using classified personnel records to their own ends and sentenced to two years in the heretofore secret brig on the non-existent thirteenth deck of the Red Dwarf. Two years – in a cell – with Lister. Rimmer shuddered at the thought.
       "Uh-huh," Lister said as he set his guitar down and turned his full attention toward the other man. "You gonna tell me about it or not?" But wait a moment – was Rimmer blushing? He looked closer. "You're blushing," he said with a grin.
       "Am not!" objected Rimmer.
       Lister hopped off his bunk and poked a finger at Rimmer's cheek. "Then what's this red spot? And this one?"
       "Quit it!" Rimmer snapped and brushed the hand away. He looked at Lister and saw the same dark features, horrid dred locks and slovenly attire. *Gods, am I really attracted to him?* he thought to himself. "I dreamed I kissed you," he admited.
       The grin fled from Lister's face and he took a step back. "You what?"
       "It must be the food they serve us – that's it."
       Lister sat back on his bunk in a daze.
       "It was just a spam induced dream, Listy – nothing to it, you know."
       "No – there's more."
       "More what?"
       "Well, I've never told you, but –"
       "What?" Rimmer sat down at the table with a concerned frown.
       "Back onboard the Space Bug – when you were still dead –"
       "Yes?"
       "Right after you – the hologram you – left to become Ace Rimmer –"
       "Okay, you can explain that later – what?"
       "After we'd found Kochanski –"
       "WHAT? For smeggin' sakes?"
       "With Chris right nearby and everything –"
       "If you don't get to the smeggin' point, my lad, I'm going to wrap your dreds around your neck and pull till your eyeballs pop out and roll around on the floor!"
       "I dreamed I kissed ya."
       "You what?!" Rimmer stood again.
       Lister gazed at the other man – watched his nostrils flare and his lips twist up into that ironic snarl. The blue eyes sparkling back at him seemed suddenly so adorable.
       "You're joking, right? Rimmer asked with a worried grin. "Listy? You're just making this up, right?" The dark puppy-dog eyes stared silently back. "Listy?"
       Lister narrowed his eyes and slid off the bunk.
       "I feel faint," Rimmer mumbled as Lister's arm slipped around him.
       "Why fight it, Arnie?" Lister's voice was low and husky, his lips mere millimeters from Rimmer's. "It's kismet, man – karma – meant to be."
       Rimmer was being supported by two strong arms now and he could feel the buldge growing in the other man's jumpsuit. Or was that his own? "Dave," he said softly. "Please be gentle with me."
       As two Red Dwarf prison jumpsuits slipped to the floor,

       Christine Kochanski awoke with a scream.